No matter how bad things have become, in your marriage, there are immediate steps you can take to start saving your marriage…
1. Call A Truce
Swallow your pride and tell your partner that you would like to try and make your marriage work… together. Make a decision that you will both call a truce, calm down and think things through.
2. Give Each Other Space
After you have agreed, that you want to call a truce and try to make your relationship work… it is best to give each other some space for a while… to sort things out in your own minds. Wait until you both feel you are able to talk and approach your problems calmly and rationally.
3. Agree To Disagree
Once you do sit down to talk things through… it is important that up front… you both agree to hear what the other one has to say before you express disagreement. You also need to understand that sometimes you may never come together on a point of view, but at the very least you need to respect each others opinions and sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. Having a good relationship with someone doesn’t mean you always have to agree with them on everything… it’s okay to disagree sometimes.
4. Identify The Real Problems
You both need to be honest and make an effort to identify the real issues in your marriage. The blow ups and arguments, are often over little things and not the real problems. Resentment builds up over time, with all the unresolved issues. You need to get to the bottom of everything. You need to get it all out into the open, if you really want to move forward with your relationship.
Most counselors agree that the three main areas that cause problems in relationships are sex, money and children. This gives you a good idea of areas to start looking at.
5. Listen To Your Partner
Stay calm and practice talking less and listening more. By listening to their words… even though you might not agree… you’ll be sending the message that you really want to understand. Also, notice his expressions and body language. They’ll offer many clues, to what he’s really feeling.
6. Be Patient
It’s highly unlikely that one conversation, or meeting, will put your relationship back on track immediately… it will however be a step in the right direction. You may never reach a complete understanding. Be patient with the process and keep in mind what you want the end result to be.
7. Be Ready To Compromise
You and your partner are probably not going to agree on everything you want to happen. At this point, try to find a compromise that you can both live with… without letting go of your own morals or beliefs.
8. Get Some Outside Help
Try and find someone outside of your relationship that you can talk to… whether it be a trusted friend, a family member, a priest or counselor. Even if your partner refuses to get help, you yourself may benefit by having an objective person to talk to.
However… as I mentioned in a previous article, 5 Signs Of A Troubled Marriage, counseling isn’t for everyone. If you really aren’t comfortable with the idea of talking to someone… then you need to look at other options because you can’t just do nothing. If you don’t do anything, nothing will change. If you do the wrong things, the situation will get worse.
For more ideas about how to tackle your relationship problems and rebuild the intimacy with your partner, here’s a great video to steer you in the right direction starting now :
In this video you will discover there are things you can do to start saving your marriage even if you are the only one interested in fixing things!